"A moment can change everything": Kylie Pussell shares how heart-break has helped others

Written by Miracle Babies CEO and Co-Founder, Kylie Pussell

16 years is a special milestone in most children’s lives and their parents. They can learn to drive, career paths start to be discussed and the bigger picture of ‘what do I do with the rest of my life?’ starts to be looked at.

This past weekend has been a tough one in our lives. We celebrated the 16th Birthday of our beautiful daughter and son. Two days later we dealt with the 16th year of losing our son. Having twins at just 25 weeks gestation was life changing. Losing our son at 2 days of age was heart breaking and life altering.

Our boy was perfect! He was sadly born way too early at 25 weeks gestation and weighed just over 700 grams. He was ventilated at birth and put up such a brave fight for two and a half days. As young parents who had already faced many challenges to have our family, we knew we were in a very tough situation. 

I was woken up in a hospital bed at 2.30am to hear ‘one of your babies aren't doing too well’ and was wheel-chaired to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Our lives changed forever in those following moments. The next 10 hours we sat by his cot and watched the amazing NICU staff care for him. So many tests, questions, sad eyes, hugs, tears and connection with those around us that worked so hard to save his life. 

We had our boy baptized and limited family visited to meet him in his last hours.

We didn’t get cuddles of joy. All our cuddles were with broken hearts and trying to make these precious moments everything they could be and burn into my memory. We needed to let our baby boy know how much we loved him.

I never got the chance to hold my twin babies together. The NICU staff arranged for a photo of my babies, the only photo I have of them in the same photo apart from ultrasound images. This is a truly special photo for me, our boy’s breathing has stopped but in that moment they are together for one last time on this earth.

His life started here way too early and finished way too short. Our lives were changed forever and his imprint on my heart continues to support and make changes for families with a premature or sick baby. Thank you Melinda Cruz, Miracle Babies and the other co-founding mums and families who when I was at my lowest, gave me a place to honour and remember my boy in everything around me. I have learnt for me, "grief doesn’t go away, you just learn how to cope because you have no other choice."

Please honour my boy, Marcus' imprint and help other families find a way to live with their grief.

Please donate at www.miraclebabies.org.au and let every soul have an impact – no matter how short their time may have been in this world!

"A moment can change everything!"

Author

Miracle Babies Foundation

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