Bereavement
NURTURE INFORMATION HUB
Evidence
Understanding and Managing Grief after Perinatal Loss
Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement
When a baby dies before or around the time of birth, we grieve. That is the nature of being human along with the reality that suffering is part of our human experience. Many factors, however, affect the intensity and expression of this reaction, just as the support we provide can influence the possibilities for growth.
Education
Grieving the loss of a child, especially one who was born sleeping or faced the challenges of being born premature or sick, is an incredibly unique and personal experience. It is a journey that often includes feelings of profound sorrow, heartbreak, feeling broken or torn, moments of questioning and periods of reflection on the time you shared, and the dreams now shattered.
It is also a journey that does not follow a set timeline and can resurface in various ways as you continue through life.
Years may pass, but the impact of such a significant loss remains a part of your life, shaping who you are and the path you walk.
Please remember that it is okay to have days when the grief feels as fresh as it did years ago, just as it is okay to have days filled with joy and laughter. Your feelings are valid, and your journey is your own.
It is important to acknowledge your feelings. Pay attention to them and allow yourself the time and space to feel your emotions as they come. Recognising and accepting your feelings is an essential part healing.
Seek and Accept Help, whether it's a meal, help with picking up a child from school, or time off from work, communicate your needs to others and accept help when it’s offered. Leaning on your support system can provide much-needed relief.
Honour Your Child's Memory
Find ways to commemorate your child. Bring meaning to your child's life and death by making a donation to a charity in their name or by volunteering with an organisation that reminds you of your child. Celebrate your child's life with family and friends, and include surviving siblings in the process, asking how they would like to honour their sibling's life as well.
Your needs and wishes to acknowledge these significant dates and anniversaries of your child may change from year to year or you may like annual traditions to honour their life. Remember to be kind to yourself, the trauma of saying goodbye to your child can be a life changing journey.
Empowerment
Despite the profound challenges, some parents experience post-traumatic growth. They may develop a greater appreciation for life, stronger relationships, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Many bereaved parents find meaning by becoming advocates for causes related to their child’s illness or prematurity. Engaging in support groups, fundraising, and awareness campaigns can be therapeutic and empowering.
Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can provide comfort and understanding.
Remember, grief is a deeply personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. Allow yourself the grace and patience to navigate this path in your own time and in your own way.
Useful links
https://www.saytheirname.org.au/
https://rednosegriefandloss.org.au/
Need support? NurtureConnect allows you to connect with our NurtureProgram support team, or call our 24 hour NurtureLine 1300 622 243 or join our Facebook community.
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Disclaimer: This publication by Miracle Babies Foundation is intended solely for general education and assistance and it is it is not medical advice or a healthcare recommendation. It should not be used for the purpose of medical diagnosis or treatment for any individual condition. This publication has been developed by our Parent Advisory Team (all who are parents of premature and sick babies) and has been reviewed and approved by a Clinical Advisory Team. This publication is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Miracle Babies Foundation recommends that professional medical advice and services be sought out from a qualified healthcare provider familiar with your personal circumstances.To the extent permitted by law, Miracle Babies Foundation excludes and disclaims any liability of any kind (directly or indirectly arising) to any reader of this publication who acts or does not act in reliance wholly or partly on the content of this general publication. If you would like to provide any feedback on the information please email [email protected].
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