Wishing our Miracle Mums a special Mother’s Day
Mother's Day is on Sunday 12th of May and is an important day to celebrate the mothers and special women in our lives.
Having a baby born premature or sick can be an emotional rollercoaster and as your baby remains in hospital for weeks or months on end, it is common for parents to feel a range of complex emotions. At different times parents may experience a combination of powerful feelings, such as; fear, guilt, anxiety, isolation, sadness, anger, confusion, and disappointment. These are all natural responses to what is a very emotional and stressful time in your life. It is normal to grieve the loss of your dream of a normal pregnancy and all the experiences you were anticipating.
At certain times though, these feelings can be even more overwhelming, for instance special occasions like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. It is normal for parents to feel a sense of loss for what ‘should have been’.
For mothers who have their baby remain in hospital on Mother’s Day, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time. While we know this is not the Mother’s Day you dreamed of and wanted, it is still a day to celebrate.
♥ Celebrate their exceptional journey of becoming a mother to a baby in the NICU/SCN.
♥ Celebrate the strength every mother has gained from enduring such a difficult experience.
♥ Celebrate their unconditional love for their baby as they continue to fight.
♥ Celebrate a mother's incredible resilience as they navigate the challenges of having a baby born premature or sick.
As we celebrate all new mothers, we also recognise the difficult journey of those mothers who have sadly lost their baby.
We also celebrate the big milestones that some mothers have been waiting for, and for some families will receive the best gift of all, bringing their baby home on Mother’s Day.
This year, we spoke with miracle mum, Marlo Grover who is a business owner and digital marketer. Marlo and her husband were on the fence about having children, unsure how to juggle their career ambitions with starting a family before they were gifted with a surprise pregnancy and the decision was made for them.
Marlo was fortunate to have left the hospital just before Mother's Day. Hear what she has to say.
Can you please share a little about your NICU/SCN experience?
I experienced PROM at 33 weeks and 4, while on our baby moon in Yamba, a long way from the Royal in Brisbane where I had registered to give birth. After being driven up and down the coast in 3 ambulances over 5 hours, I really had no time to get my head around the fact I was about to give birth and what that meant for the health and safety of my baby and I. Elliot arrived in 45minutes, so tiny and small and was immediately taken to NICU and fitted with CPAP gear. I didn’t get to look at him, or hold him, it was so traumatic.
I remember seeing him in his incubator for the first time and just breaking down in the middle of the hospital, nothing can prepare you as a first time mother, to seeing your baby like that. There was never a moment in NICU that I doubted the exceptional care Elliot was receiving, I knew he was in good hands but I was a total mess. Arriving home from the hospital 48hrs later, without Elliot in my belly or in my arms was heart breaking. I didn’t know what the road ahead of us looked like, how long it would be, what would the long term implications be? Was this all my fault? So many medical professionals gave us differing opinions and it became a daily rollercoaster of emotions.
After 1 week in NICU and 7 weeks in SCN I just needed to get out of the hospital. I was sitting in those bright green reclining chairs for 8hours a day, trying to get Elliot to latch while he was on oxygen. I wasn’t eating, sleeping or resting, it was just groundhog day every day. So I started bottle feeding Elliot EBM and we were out in 48hrs. Elliot was sent home on oxygen for a further 2 months, so the trauma of the hospital just followed us home and we didn’t get to feel like ‘normal’ first time parents for many months after.
How did you feel about just getting out of the hospital before your first Mother’s Day?
"We got home with Elliot only a few days before Mother's Day, it was a surreal experience. Even though we were navigating large oxygen bottles and breathing tubes it was so nice to have him at home. I wasn’t the ‘mum’ experience I thought it would be on my first Mothers Day, but we were out of hospital so it was a big deal for me!"
What words of encouragement do you have for Parents who have a baby in the NICU and have to spend Mother’s Day in the hospital?
"One of the most frustrating things I kept hearing from people in the hospital was, one day this will all be a distant memory and you’ll be living your life as a family enjoying your baby. It used to anger me so much, I was so impatient I just wanted to get out of there – but they were right. The good times will come, I promise they will, don’t rush yourself out of there, don’t drain your energy rushing something you can’t control. Take lots of pictures and celebrate yourself and your first Mother’s Day, because you’re doing it! Seize tiny moments of love and joy every day where you can, and once your home, I hope you never look back! "
Thank you, Marlo for sharing your story.
We hope that all Miracle Mums across Australia have a special Mother’s Day! ♥
