Intercourse

Evidence 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S187757562200088X 

Lauren Nicole Harrison, Elena Neiterman, Ellen MacEachen, Margaret F. Gibson  

Women may wish to delay vaginal intercourse after a birth for a variety of reasons including a lack of interest, being too tired, or a fear of pain. For some women, a lack of interest in sexual activity may also be associated with dissatisfaction with their body image. Additionally, breastfeeding operative vaginal birth, caesarean section, perineal tears, and episiotomy have been associated with a delayed resumption of vaginal sex.  

Education 

Resuming physical intimacy is a personal decision that depends on how you’re feeling physically and emotionally. Many new parents experience a mix of feelings, such as exhaustion, stress and anxiety particularly when their baby is in the Neonatal Unit. It’s okay if you’re not ready to resume intercourse right away, or even for some time, as your focus on recovery and caring for your baby takes priority. Communicate openly with your partner about your comfort level, any fears and what intimacy means to both of you at this time.  

Physically, the body needs time to heal after childbirth, whether from a vaginal delivery or C-section. Waiting until you feel physically comfortable and have been cleared by your healthcare provider can help prevent pain and complications. This is usually around 6 weeks post pregnancy.  

Emotionally, it’s also normal to need time to adjust, especially given the stress and emotional weight of having a baby born sick or premature. Take things at a pace that feels right for you and don’t hesitate to seek support if you’re struggling with intimacy or emotional changes. 

If sex after having a baby is painful, or you are worried about your (or your partner’s) emotional wellbeing, speak with a trusted health professional such as your doctor or a maternal health nurse. 

Birth-related trauma can have an impact on your health and wellbeing, including your return to a healthy sex life. It can be physical or psychological and may be identified straight away or can come up sometime later. Free support services are available through the Australasian Birth Trauma Association. 

Empowerment  

Openly expressing your feelings, desires and any hesitations with your partner can help create a supportive and understanding space for both of you. You may find that intimacy evolves beyond physical contact during this period, including small gestures of care, shared moments and emotional support. This journey offers an opportunity to strengthen your partnership as you both navigate new roles and support your baby’s health. 

Remember, your healthcare provider is there to support you in finding options that work best for you and seeking help or advice when needed is a valuable step in caring for yourself. Allow yourself the time to heal and reconnect at your own pace, recognising that caring for your body and emotions supports both you and your family’s well-being. 

Useful Links 

Western Australian Centre for Perinatal Mental Health & Parenting Support (WACPPS) 

https://wacpps.org.au/sex-after-pregnancy-birth/ 

Family Planning NSW 

https://www.fpnsw.org.au/factsheets/individuals/pregnancy/after-having-baby 

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby 

https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/sex-and-contraception-after-birth 

The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists 

https://ranzcog.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/First-Few-Weeks-Following-Birth.pdf 

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