My Dr sent me for a measurement scan to see how my baby was growing incase preeclampsia just wasn’t showing up for some reason.
At 35 weeks I went for what I thought was just a measurement scan, the radiologist performed the scan and then looked worried, which worried me, she wouldn’t tell me anything and said she would be back, she was taking what felt like forever, and finally came in with the senior radiologist who said you need to go straight to hospital like now! I was like what’s going on? She said ‘I’ve written the report take it with you and just go’

I remember crying all the way to ED wondering what was happening, once the nurses read the report they rushed me up to birthing suits and put me on a montior. The dr at the hospital finally came in to speak to me, they said can you please do a urine sample, the radiologist has reported the blood is rushing to your placenta way too quick and your baby is very under weight for gestation, both of which are a tell tale sign of preeclampsia. I just sobbed and couldn’t stop crying. I did my urine and as suspected it’s finally being confirmed. It was a Sunday, they said you will be having this baby tomorrow! I said I can’t he’s only 35 weeks! I had no idea how serious preeclampsia actually was…So dangerous not only for baby but for mum aswell.

During my induction it was 10.5 hours of active labour, 2 failed epidurals, and then an emergency ceaser. When they were slicing I screamed in pain as I could feel it, both epidurals hadnt worked and I needed to get put to sleep.
I woke up 3 hours later, and couldn’t wait to see my baby…
Everyone looked worried, including my husband. He said before you see him you need to know he is very little and needed resuscitation when he was born.

It all felt like a nightmare and I would wake up and everything would be okay, I got wheeled into see him in my bed, he was in the incubator, with his tiny goggles on, tiny legs and tiny arms. My baby was a teeny tiny 1.7kg!

As the days went on I noticed his monitor was going off a lot more then the other babies in special care nursery. I mentioned it to the paediatrician who came around every morning, each time he said no he’s fine he’s just so tiny and need to grow…
There were other babies around the same gestation but there monitors weren’t buzzing like ours…
After day 3 I’d had enough and requested a complete body examination, the doctor said he suspected Jax had a murmur and he would need an echocardiogram. Being Gosford Hospital they do not have an echocardiogram machine for babies so we needed to go down to Westmead and were taken by nets due to his size.
The next day he had his echocardiogram which showed an ASD and a PDA, the ASD was okay but the PDA needed closing. At a tiny 1.7kg our baby was heading in for heart surgery, it was the scariest time of my whole life!

With being early and so little we were in hospital for a total of 31 days. What got me through everyday was the little milestones like coming off cpap to high flo.

I saw so many different babies, and so many different families all going through something different. I could liteally feel their heartache. NICU is a mentally challenging journey you’ve got the wins, but you’ve got the windfalls not many talk about aswell. Your babe might be kicking goals and comes off cpap, for you to come in the next day and cpap is back on the highest level and more canulas and drips coming out of your tiny babies body, and are told they contracted a virus and need antibiotics, which has effected their breathing which means another week on cpap before it can even get looked at getting turned down and onto high flo."