Maintaining Relationships

Evidence  

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10687526/ 

İlknur Okay, Çiğdem Yavuz Güler 

Under the difficult circumstances they face, parents who have preterm babies are subject to many stressors. The addition of a baby to the family is usually a happy event for families. However, in some circumstances, such as preterm birth or a birth with complications, it manifests as a traumatic event that poses a major stressor for the family and has the potential of affecting family dynamics. 

Education 

Being a parent in the Neonatal Unit can be overwhelming, with emotions running high as you navigate your baby’s health journey and your recovery postpartum. While it's normal to focus on your baby, it’s equally important to care for your mental well-being and maintain strong relationships during this time. Stress, guilt, and anxiety can affect both partners, so finding ways to support each other and communicate openly is crucial. 

Parents may experience guilt, fear and anxiety especially with the uncertainty surrounding their baby’s condition. Long hospital stays can cause feelings of isolation, as parents may feel disconnected from others. Some parents even feel like their body or role as a parent has failed them, which can increase distress. 

Signs You May Need Support 

If you find yourself feeling constantly overwhelmed or teary, struggling to sleep or eat, or losing interest in activities you once enjoyed, these may be signs that you need support. 

It’s important to speak with your GP or healthcare team if you are finding things difficult. You might also consider reaching out to a counsellor or psychologist who specialises in neonatal care or perinatal mental health. 

Maintaining Your Relationship with Your Partner 

Sharing your feelings openly with your partner, even when those feelings are difficult, is crucial. Both of you may be coping in different ways and acknowledging this can help you stay connected. 

The usual roles and expectations may no longer apply during this stressful time. Discuss what is realistic for supporting each other and caring for the baby. 

It’s easy to focus solely on your baby, but nurturing your relationship is important too.  

Celebrating your baby’s milestones, even small ones like a positive medical change, can foster positivity and give you something to cherish during tough times. Small gestures like a hug, kind words, or sharing a light-hearted moment can strengthen your bond and keep the connection alive during this challenging time. 

Maintaining relationships with your older children 

It’s important to reassure older siblings that they are just as loved and valued, even when much of your attention is focused on their baby sibling in the hospital. Regular check-ins, whether through phone calls, video chats, or in-person, when possible, help them feel included. Setting aside dedicated time for them when your home even for a few minutes, can go a long way in maintaining that bond. Let them be part of the journey by explaining what’s happening in an age-appropriate way and involving them in small, manageable tasks like making a card for their sibling or choosing a toy for the baby’s hospital stay. 

If you have support from family or friends, try to create opportunities for your older children to spend quality time with loved ones, ensuring they have fun and stability even during this emotional time. 

For more information visit our page In Hospital for Supporting Siblings 

Maintaining relationships with Family and Friends 

Don’t hesitate to ask family and friends to assist with everyday tasks like cooking or childcare. This can reduce pressure and allow you to focus on your baby and your wellbeing. 

It’s okay to set limits on communications when you need time to process and care for your baby. Being clear about when and how you want to communicate can relieve some of the stress from well-meaning friends and family. 

To avoid exhaustion from repeated conversations, you could consider creating a group chat or appointing someone to relay updates to others. 

For more information visit our page In Hospital for Extended family and friends  

Empowerment  

Open communication, love, and patience can strengthen your bond during this time. It’s okay to lean on each other for support, share your emotions and take things one day at a time. Prioritise moments of connection with each family member, even in small ways and know that caring for yourselves is just as important as caring for your baby. Remember that this is a journey you don’t have to face alone. 

Useful Links  

Miracle Babies Foundation 

https://www.miraclebabies.org.au/content/extended-family-friends/gjso08 

https://www.miraclebabies.org.au/content/supporting-siblings/gjsn8g 

https://www.miraclebabies.org.au/content/hints-tips-from-other-parents/gjrjvs 

PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia 

https://panda.org.au/ 

For When – Perinatal Mental Health and Wellbeing 

https://forwhen.org.au  

COPE – Centre of Perinatal Excellence  

https://www.cope.org.au 

Need support? NurtureConnect allows you to connect with our NurtureProgram support team, or call our 24 hour NurtureLine 1300 622 243 or join our Facebook community.

NurtureConnect