Miracle Mum Victoria shares how the love and strength of her husband helped her through the trauma of her twins’ very early birth.

“I would like to share the story of our family. One year ago, my husband and I became the parents of two miracle 26 weekers, Vincent and Victor, in very challenging circumstances. Not many people will know that we struggled to conceive for a long time. It was already a very emotional road for us as a couple.

Countless scans and tests, appointments with specialist doctors. Years had passed and we started to lose all our hope that we would ever become parents. Then a miracle happened. After years of trying we were being rewarded with not just one baby, but two! We were expecting twin boys.

Everything was going well for us. First months of pregnancy were normal, all my check ups showed the boys were growing and developing correctly. No physical signs or abnormalities, everything was perfect! Nothing prepared us or even warned us that all this could change in the matter of hours. I was only at my 26th week of pregnancy when I felt a sudden, excruciating pain followed by a heavy bleed. My first thought was “I’m having a miscarriage”. That could not be possible, we so desperately wanted to be parents and that dream once again was becoming so unreachable. I was rushed in an ambulance to the closest hospital, where a team of doctors and nurses were waiting for us already. I was in absolute shock. Just a few hours before I was having a relaxing Sunday with my husband and now I was in the ED.

I remember asking the doctors if my babies were ok, were they still alive?… They asked if I could feel the babies moving, but the only thing I could feel was the agonising pain. A quick examination confirmed that I was already 4 cm dilated and the internal bleeding was causing this sudden onset labour. I was administered a steroid injection to speed up the development of the babies’ lungs and rushed yet again in an ambulance to King Edward Memorial Hospital. At that point the fear escalated even more. I started praying and constantly repeating to myself ‘it’s too early, it’s too early to deliver, they are not ready to come out’. All three of us where in serious danger. Everything was in the hands of doctors and God.

When I arrived at K.E.M.H an even larger team was awaiting us. They connected me to the monitors and finally did an ultrasound to check the state of my babies. They were stable and doing well considering the situation. I was given an epidural and not long after felt I was bleeding even more. The nurses alarmed the whole team. Our boys needed to come out immediately.  I was quickly moved to theatre to have an Emergency C- section. They wheeled me in to this bright, cold room filled with over 20 people. My whole body was trembling and I couldn’t control it. I had my anaesthesiologist briefly explaining what is about to happen. I remember his voice in my ear, so calm and reassuring but even that could not stop the distress I was in. Tears were flowing down the side of my face. My husband was next to me gently stroking my forehead and telling me everything would be ok. He was so brave, so calm and not once showed me he was scared. He was entirely focused on me, giving me his whole strength. I also tried to be brave, but minutes into the procedure the pain was so unbearable I started to scream and beg them to stop. Everything was so rushed that the epidural didn’t fully start working. It felt like someone was ripping me apart.

The surgeons had to stop what they were doing and I was given a cocktail of drugs. I started to drift away; everything was becoming blurry. I stopped paying attention to what was going on. All my emotions drifted away… Our miracle boys where born on Anzac Day.  First born was Vincent weighing 960 grams, followed by Victor at 1030 grams. We were surprised to hear their tiny squeaks. We saw them only for a couple of seconds before they were wrapped up in plastic to keep them warm, intubated and rushed to NICU. Anzac Twins then went on to battle, spending 111 days in the NICU units of K.E.M.H. They were on breathing support, required countless medical procedures, blood transfusions and surgery. There were days when we feared we would not be able to go through this, but then the good days came that gave us hope. Our boys were fighting strong, so we couldn’t give up. Leaving our boys behind in hospital was the toughest. Not coming home with them and fearing if we would see them alive the next day we came to visit.

It started to impact us mentally. The amazing support network that works within the hospital made a huge difference. We could voice our fears and feelings to people who could understand what we are going through. Miracle Babies Foundation organised meetings, group of psychologists; they all worked together to help us in these very tough times.  It took a long time for me to cope with the grief after a premature birth. First I was in complete denial that it actually had happened. I could feel the babies’ movement in my belly but they were not there anymore. Then came the guilt, that I couldn’t grow my babies inside me for longer. I had problems with handling them and avoided becoming too attached in case they passed away. All that slowly started to change as days went by and I saw that our boys were still with us, gaining weight and reaching their milestones. But the biggest impact was the day I could hold both my babies for the first time. I waited for this very special moment for over 50 days. I was filled with a mix of emotions, overwhelming joy and sadness at the same time.

I remember the first thing I whispered to my babies was "I’m sorry, I’m sorry this all did not go as we planned." All my fears of losing my boys disappeared after that. I felt only the purest of love one could ever feel. The love of a mother, reunited with her babies...

Today Vincent and Victor are happy, beautiful boys. They recently celebrated their first birthday and are doing absolutely amazingly well. We are truly blessed as parents to have them in our lives. We waited for this moment for so long and it was definitely worth it. Nothing could have prepared us for the experience that we had to go through, but it made us stronger as people. It made our love as a couple stronger and the love for our sons stronger than anything. Like my husband always says, ‘Family is everything!’.”   

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