When a child is born, the joy both parents feel is beyond a sense, immeasurable. As such, losing a child could be considered as a great misery. Extremes as they may seem but this is what the world is made of and we have no capacity to go against established dichotomies. I usually internalize roles when watching movies...I even once asked myself, "what is more painful than what a mother feels seeing her son suffer so much?” I never expected that I would be having an answer too soon.

It was when our only child (born at 36 weeks) was admitted to the hospital (about 4 weeks after birth) and scheduled for surgery for a pulmonary cystic mass. He was only a month old and was the youngest to undergo such a medical procedure. I felt so devastated when the doctors made me sign a waiver...when they told me that they could not guarantee a successful operation as anytime, our angel's lung might collapse. They even told us to be prepared for the worst scenario which I'm afraid, I never would. It was July 6 when our little bundle of joy was taken to the operating room. I was crying and praying so hard...I poured out HIM...but I never received any answer.

I just jumped to a hasty conclusion without listening. I even asked HIM why is HE taking away a gift HE has already given... is HE prejudging our capacity to raise and take good care of such an adorable angel? Why us? Was I afraid our little angel wouldn't make it or was I just afraid I couldn't make it through all the pains when He would take him back...either way, I'd like to shrink if I would look back at the memory...I reached the saturation point...I lost my faith and trust in Him. Now, seeing my son yawn and stretch each morning he wakes up is already a miracle. I am happy that though I fall short of faith, HE is still there smiling and reaching out for us to feel HIS warm embrace...He's indeed a God of compassion, a very forgiving and loving father. Rod Kendrich has turned last May 21...and we thank GOD for bringing him into our lives.

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